Feeling at Home in Homeboy Industries

My name is Irene Astran and I am a rising senior from St. Mary's University where I major in Political Science. The crew and I visited the Lilanne Marianist community yesterday. The brothers were aware that we were to visit Homeboy Industries the next day. They offered us their insight and encouraging words. They lifted their intentions in prayer that we may have an open mind and heart as we met people who they warned were going to be much different in appearance and behavior than us. What I found in my experience at Homeboy Industries proved this wrong for me. All who I encountered seemed much more familiar to me than I thought they would.

Several people in my family fell to the same lifestyle and to the same habits as the people that came through their doors. They had to resort to the hustle in order to get by. And in several occasions they worked to feed their addictions. It’s part of that life. I wanted so badly to see my extended family out of this darkness. Over the years, I found myself searching for answers on what I could do to help them through other peoples' experiences and their advice. I work with people who pass through domestic violence and homeless shelters, and those that are recovering from substance abuse. I constantly find myself asking them the same questions. At what point did you know that enough was enough? At what point did you know you needed to get help? After a series of self-reflections I finally realized that I was fishing for an answer that I would never receive.

Every single time I asked this question I got a different version of the same answer. You cannot help someone who does not want help. They have to want to get out of the game, they have to want to stop using, and they have to want a healthier future for themselves. You cannot force them to do better unless they want to do better. I thought that after all these years I had made progress in accepting that there was not much I could do, but I caught myself asking this same question to our tour guide Raymond. I hoped to hear something different, but I did not. He, along with a little homie that accompanied him, vocalized that you cannot force someone to want to be better. What I did hear through Raymond's story was that I needed to keep the doors open for those in my family that needed God’s grace. Raymond relapsed several times before he found his way. Each time he was received by Father Gregory Boyle with open arms. This continued until Raymond fully committed himself to the program. I understand that I cannot compel my loved ones to stop using or to stop hustling, but I can always leave the doors open for them to return, to feel love and warmth until they find their way back.

In a way, I felt at home in Homeboy Industries. When I looked at the people I saw my cousins, I saw my uncles and my aunts. As I listened to Raymond speak I felt as if I was hearing one of their stories at a kickback all over again. There are so many similarities in their mannerism and in the way they joke around. I found comfort in that Raymond found light in his life. It gives me hope that this kind of redemption is a possibility for my loved ones. People can change, but it takes being persistent in your love and faith in order to help them. One of the Fathers in the Lilanne Marianist community told us that we should not pray for anything we were not willing to work for. I affirm that my prayers to be steadfast in my love and acceptance for the sake of helping others is something I am wholeheartedly ready to work towards.